Europa League Final Moved to Narnia

A bleak wilderness devoid of any real joy, the Europa League was rebranded from the UEFA Cup in 2009.

In a bid to improve accessibility for beleaguered Chelsea and Arsenal fans, UEFA has announced the Europa league final is to be moved to Narnia.

The London clubs were due to clash in Azerbaijan’s capital, Baku, on 29th May, but a string of logistical cock-ups has led to heavy and widespread criticism.

Despite concerns that hosting the match in a land of perpetual winter may impact the quality of the pitch, the final decision was given the go-ahead last night.

“We weighed it up and, in the end, felt it was the best option. Granted it’s a non-existent fantasy realm, but we still believe it represents a more practical choice for this showpiece event.” head of UEFA, Aleksander Čeferin, explained.
“I mean it literally couldn’t be easier to get to, just open the wardrobe, climb in, et voilà.”

Although initially delighted by the decision, assuming this would open the door for him to feature for Arsenal in the final, Henrikh Mkhitaryan was later distraught to discover that, due to a long-running feud between Armenia and the White Witch, he would be unable to obtain the documents necessary to travel with the squad.

Narnia spokesman Mr. Tumnus does not believe this will damage the spectacle.
“The pre-game show is going to be a real treat. I don’t want to give too much away but let’s just say there may or may not be a talking lion involved. Honestly, it’s going to be magical.”