Jeremy Corbyn Hailed as Second Coming

Corbyn spreading his holy presence.

Last night pressure grew on the Pope to officially sanction Jeremy Corbyn as the second coming of our Lord Jesus. His supporters claim things have got so bad that He has once again felt the need to show His presence in the Earthly realm and spread the basic message of not being a total dick to one another.

“It’s fairly obvious when you think about it. He’s white, scruffy looking with a beard and loves preaching about things. Short of getting married to a prostitute, getting a gaggle of homeless pissed off a two-litre bottle of Evian, and simultaneously getting nailed to a cross I don’t know what else he could possibly do,” commented one doe-eyed fan.

Not everyone is convinced however, Reverend Lovechild is particularly apoplectic about this turn of events. “I’m disgusted by these claims, sickened to my very core. Jeremy has not even come out to openly condemn homosexuals, so he’s clearly not in touch with even the most basic of Christian values. I can only hope those perpetuating this myth burn in hell for all eternity with red-hot pokers inserted in their bottoms,” ranted the pillar of the community.

Mr. Corbyn, a.k.a. Our Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, recently held what appeared to be a mass congregation in Gloucestershire, though He refused to be drawn on any such claims. Many have pointed out that this is exactly what would be expected of the notoriously modest Son of the Creator, and is therefore proof in itself.

Hymns of exultation have already sprung up, helping his followers bask in His heavenly light and bring glory unto Him, such as the rousing ‘Oh Jeremy Corbyn’, of which spine-tinglingly powerful renditions can currently be heard ringing around the country.

He is expected to be crucified by the right-wing media imminently, thus absolving humanity of its sins to live in never-ending peace and prosperity, exactly as happened last time, Amen.